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Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
20 February 2012 8:20 PM | 1 Comment -
Chinese officials deny independence of Taiwanese Linsanity
14 February 2012 3:51 PM | No Comments -
WikiLeaks releases Bin Laden’s journal
12 February 2012 12:50 PM | No Comments -
Mitt Romney vows to start having affairs
25 January 2012 11:15 PM | No Comments -
Scientists confirm Earth’s climatologists getting hotter
24 January 2012 6:04 PM | No Comments -
Judge rules Devil must return M. Night Shyamalan’s soul
11 January 2012 1:20 PM | No Comments -
Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
10 January 2012 8:43 PM | No Comments -
Banks announce fee for thinking about money
24 December 2011 8:53 AM | No Comments
Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Staff
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Rep. Joe Walsh seeks tax breaks for deadbeat dads
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Thousands of birthers arrested
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BREAKING HEADLINES
A Chicago Dope Exclusive!
World Archive
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Chinese officials deny independence of Taiwanese Linsanity
Posted on February 14, 2012 | No CommentsChinese deny claims of the Taiwanese independence movement that Linsanity is further evidence of need for sovereign political recognition -
WikiLeaks releases Bin Laden’s journal
Posted on February 12, 2012 | No CommentsOsama bin Laden's journal was captured during the raid on his compound. The Chicago Dope has translated it! -
Scientists confirm Earth’s climatologists getting hotter
Posted on January 24, 2012 | No CommentsA new study reveals that the Earth’s climate scientists are melting hearts at record rates -
Gaddafi found; discovered starring in The Playboy Club
Posted on October 16, 2011 | No CommentsAfter months of searching, deposed Libyan dictator Muarramar Gaddafi has been found hiding out on American TV, starring on the historically unpopular NBC show The Playboy Club -
Ohio changes name to Iraq to get federal help
Posted on September 15, 2011 | 3 CommentsVirginia to follow suit with name change to Afghanistan. -
Gaddafi overthrown, Romney calls for his overthrow
Posted on August 25, 2011 | No CommentsRomney says removing Gaddafi is first step to removing him. -
Social media revolutions suppressed by distractions of social media
Posted on July 8, 2011 | 1 CommentThe vast time-suck that is Twitter and Facebook kills most social media revolutions before they get off the ground -
Chicago complains its sister city is ‘like, so totally annoying’
Posted on July 2, 2011 | No CommentsBogotá, Columbia, Chicago's sister city since 2009, won't stop being such a butthead. -
Nowitzki fights anxiety with fate of humanity resting on his shoulders
Posted on June 4, 2011 | No CommentsDirk Nowitzki is anxious as he tries to save humanity from the potential apocalypse of a Miami Heat NBA Championship -
Texas traded to Mexico in four-state deal
Posted on May 7, 2011 | 2 CommentsMexican President Calderon went deep into his roster to acquire the Lone Star State -
Obama’s use of ‘air quotes’ throughout bin Laden announcement fuels conspiracy theories
Posted on May 6, 2011 | 1 CommentObama: "Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted "terrorist," was "killed" in "Pakistan" by the "U.S. military." -
Gender Battles: NFL Draft, Royal Wedding converge to form ultimate “Who Gives a Shit?” weekend
Posted on April 27, 2011 | No CommentsMen and women are primed for a Battle of the Sexes like nothing in human history -
Woman dumps fiancé over interest in royal wedding
Posted on April 7, 2011 | 1 CommentMan obsessed with Kate and William. -
Gingrich blames prostitution arrest on patriotism, Libya
Posted on April 1, 2011 | No CommentsThe former speaker is passionate about a lot of things, especially female staffers. -
Bracket buster: Somali Pirates eliminated from Sweet 16
Posted on March 25, 2011 | No CommentsThe Somali Pirates will not be this year's Cindarella -
U.S. warns UAE for being just a bit too full of itself
Posted on March 24, 2011 | 65 CommentsThe State Department's message to Abu Dhabi: 'The senseless abundance must end!' -
English mailman goes postal, dozens bruised in punching spree
Posted on March 1, 2011 | No Comments23 hurt when British post office employee goes on slugging rampage -
Tea party group refuses to leave Libya
Posted on February 23, 2011 | 4 CommentsTourists call federal rescue a dangerous precedent. -
Fox News to delay Obama-Mubarak comparisons until next week
Posted on February 17, 2011 | 1 CommentFor now, the cable news powerhouse will stick to allusions to Nazi Germany -
Glenn Beck demands war with Britain
Posted on February 5, 2011 | 11 CommentsThe 1960s "British invasion" was just the first step towards an Islamic caliphate. -
Lunatics, racists confounded by loss of color-coded terror alerts
Posted on February 1, 2011 | No CommentsFor many Americans, being racist or bat-shit crazy is getting a little harder -
Loaves and fishes ‘miracle’ actually Never Ending Pasta Bowl, scholars Say
Posted on December 17, 2010 | No CommentsA celebrated story from the Bible may have involved more marinara than miracles. -
North Korea threatens war with USA Network unless The Starter Wife is renewed
Posted on December 13, 2010 | 1 CommentThe mighty armies of the Dear Leader will crush the enemy unless Debra Messing is returned to TV. -
Scooter Libby hired by WikiLeaks
Posted on December 3, 2010 | 3 CommentsWebsite hopes Republican operative will protect it from attacks. -
TSA screeners seek airports with the hottest passengers
Posted on November 29, 2010 | 3 CommentsSecurity personnel hope to get their hands on a few celebrities. -
Guinness’ Curse? Record holders for ‘World’s Oldest Person’ keep dying
Posted on November 5, 2010 | 8 CommentsWhy only this group of Guinness World Record holders is being targeted is a mystery. -
Fox News: terrorist Snidely Whiplash on the loose
Posted on October 8, 2010 | 2 CommentsFiend enjoys tying women to railroad tracks. -
U.S. to Guatemala: ‘You should probably get yourself checked out’
Posted on October 6, 2010 | 3 CommentsThe Monroe Doctrine has created some serious baggage. -
Bin Laden thanks Christian extremists for their support
Posted on September 13, 2010 | 3 CommentsMastermind credits opponents for playing into his hands. -
Rick Astley pranks his fans, rickrolls concertgoers
Posted on September 7, 2010 | 2 CommentsAstley dupes his fans with the most popular bait and switch prank ever. -
Is George W. Bush a secret Muslim?
Posted on September 6, 2010 | 4 CommentsFormer president has many ties to the Islamic world. -
French government: Bruni may be slutty, but she’s no hooker
Posted on September 1, 2010 | 2 CommentsThere's probably not one shred of eveidence that Carla Bruni was ever a prostitute. -
Fate of the world rests on humanity’s recollection of high school math
Posted on August 23, 2010 | No CommentsLong Island native Stephen Reynolds may have doomed humanity with his disregard for the math he learned in high school -
Local couple adopts Asian highway
Posted on August 7, 2010 | No CommentsThe Reeds finally got their very own four-lane stretch of highway to care for just outside of Tianjin. -
‘Afghan War Diary’ reveals Pentagon behind rise of Justin Bieber
Posted on August 2, 2010 | No CommentsJustin Bieber: Not a teen sensation, but ploy in a military cover up -
Dick Cheney dies trying to re-start BP oil leak
Posted on August 1, 2010 | No CommentsFormer VP was trying to distract people from his many failures -
Intercepted Russian spy communique: ‘It is my report to you that Americans discuss mostly items of stupidity’
Posted on July 26, 2010 | 4 CommentsAs Russian spy Anna Chapman reveals, espionage isn't all state secrets. -
FEMA releases preparation guide for an extinction-sized meteorite impact
Posted on July 22, 2010 | No CommentsAfraid you might be unprepared for the next mass extinction event? Check out this meteor survival guide from FEMA. -
Fame-whoring Haiti covers itself in oil
Posted on July 18, 2010 | 1 CommentYet another move by slick Haiti to engage in fame harlotry. -
Child soldiers call ‘No tag-backs’ after attack on Ugandan troops
Posted on July 15, 2010 | 2 CommentsThe Youth Corps of the Lord’s Resistance Army calls dibs on this hallowed land. -
Al-Qaeda inadvertently accepts CIA’s Facebook friend request
Posted on July 13, 2010 | 4 CommentsThe CIA found a gold mine of crucial intelligence information when al Qaeda mistakenly accepted its Facebook Friend request. -
Scientists to define kilogram using mass of area man
Posted on July 12, 2010 | No CommentsStruggling to find a consistent reference for the kilogram, scientists have found the unwavering mass of Travis Watson to be the universal constant they were looking for.
