-
-
Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
20 February 2012 8:20 PM | 1 Comment -
Chinese officials deny independence of Taiwanese Linsanity
14 February 2012 3:51 PM | No Comments -
WikiLeaks releases Bin Laden’s journal
12 February 2012 12:50 PM | No Comments -
Mitt Romney vows to start having affairs
25 January 2012 11:15 PM | No Comments -
Scientists confirm Earth’s climatologists getting hotter
24 January 2012 6:04 PM | No Comments -
Judge rules Devil must return M. Night Shyamalan’s soul
11 January 2012 1:20 PM | No Comments -
Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
10 January 2012 8:43 PM | No Comments -
Banks announce fee for thinking about money
24 December 2011 8:53 AM | No Comments
Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Staff
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Rep. Joe Walsh seeks tax breaks for deadbeat dads
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Thousands of birthers arrested
-
BREAKING HEADLINES
A Chicago Dope Exclusive!
Politics Archive
-
Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
Posted on February 20, 2012 | 1 CommentLucky the leprechaun gets a "special friend." -
Chinese officials deny independence of Taiwanese Linsanity
Posted on February 14, 2012 | No CommentsChinese deny claims of the Taiwanese independence movement that Linsanity is further evidence of need for sovereign political recognition -
Mitt Romney vows to start having affairs
Posted on January 25, 2012 | No CommentsCandidate hopes "pulling a Gingrich" will save his campaign. -
Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
Posted on January 10, 2012 | No CommentsWhen the rapture comes, you're going to need a something comfortable to sleep on. -
Republicans open second front in war on Christmas
Posted on December 12, 2011 | No CommentsFox attacks Republican National Committee for throwing a "holiday party." -
Campaign shocker: Michele Bachmann releases verifiably true statement
Posted on December 2, 2011 | No CommentsBachmann's camp is struggling with the firestorm that resulted from her uncharacteristically accurate observation. -
Congress adds SEC to list of recognized vegetables
Posted on November 30, 2011 | No CommentsFanning the flames of controversy, on Wednesday, Congress moved to add the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to the Federal Government’s list of recognized vegetables. The move comes on the heels of last week’s announcement that Congress now officially considers pizza a vegetable when served in school cafeterias across the country. -
Disgraced alderman silent on prison teardrop tattoo
Posted on November 28, 2011 | No CommentsAlderman 'Fast Eddie' Vrydolyak is mum about life behind bars -
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Posted on November 22, 2011 | 2 CommentsCompany names eight new flavors, based on the GOP's presidential candidates. -
Women reject Mitt Romney’s harassment claims
Posted on November 8, 2011 | No CommentsCandidate thinks a good scandal would help him attract voters. -
NASA: Robots winning space race
Posted on November 4, 2011 | No CommentsCan the U.S. catch up to the 'mechs'? -
Gaddafi found; discovered starring in The Playboy Club
Posted on October 16, 2011 | No CommentsAfter months of searching, deposed Libyan dictator Muarramar Gaddafi has been found hiding out on American TV, starring on the historically unpopular NBC show The Playboy Club -
Convicted serial killer proud of his Chicago roots
Posted on October 13, 2011 | No CommentsCrazed lunatic Tom Dombrowski does his hometown proud. -
Media tricked into supporting Wall Street protests
Posted on October 7, 2011 | No CommentsBill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Erin Burnett were taken in by a few tricorn hats. -
Publicity Wars: Baseball courts third Kardashian sister, enters Republican Primary field
Posted on October 5, 2011 | No CommentsIn its ongoing publicity war against football, baseball has announced its intention to date Kourtney Kardashian and seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States -
Ohio changes name to Iraq to get federal help
Posted on September 15, 2011 | 3 CommentsVirginia to follow suit with name change to Afghanistan. -
Gaddafi overthrown, Romney calls for his overthrow
Posted on August 25, 2011 | No CommentsRomney says removing Gaddafi is first step to removing him. -
Rep. Joe Walsh seeks tax breaks for deadbeat dads
Posted on July 29, 2011 | 6 CommentsCongressman says $175,000 salary isn't enough to pay child support. -
Obama offers to sell prized skateboard to cut the debt
Posted on July 22, 2011 | No CommentsNegotiations stall over which side will hock their most valuable possessions. -
Rupert Murdoch to turn News Corp into a bank
Posted on July 20, 2011 | No CommentsMedia mogul to become banking mogul to avoid criticism and legal problems. -
Two-year-old mayoral candidate makes a poopy during televised debate
Posted on July 15, 2011 | 1 CommentThe mayoral debate took an unexpected turn when the challenger made a stinky in his dipey-wipey. -
Social media revolutions suppressed by distractions of social media
Posted on July 8, 2011 | 1 CommentThe vast time-suck that is Twitter and Facebook kills most social media revolutions before they get off the ground -
Clarence Thomas vows to keep profiting from the bench
Posted on June 29, 2011 | 1 CommentSupreme Court justice says his decisions are for sale. -
Palin emails reveal former governor’s chronic abuse of ‘reply all’ button
Posted on June 16, 2011 | No CommentsAlaska Governor inundated staffers with thousands of emails offering opinions on furries, TV shows and to solicit relationship advice -
Tim Pawlenty to re-announce Presidential campaign via photo of his penis
Posted on June 13, 2011 | No CommentsTim Pawlenty tries to invigorate his campaign in a way that titillates potential voters -
Republicans call on Weiner to start having real affairs
Posted on June 10, 2011 | 1 CommentGOP says cheating is fine, as long as there's physical contact. -
Sesame Street cancels Tea Party episodes
Posted on June 7, 2011 | No CommentsPBS nixes plans to have Oscar the grouch turn political. -
Joe Berrios calls for more Cook County corruption
Posted on May 31, 2011 | No CommentsAssessor vows to revive the county Democratic machine. -
Obama appoints new crossword czar/tsar czar
Posted on May 27, 2011 | No CommentsObama appoints Yale professor to tackle the growing list of versions of the Russian word for “Caesar”. -
Obama unveils plans for new nanny state that is smoking hot
Posted on May 11, 2011 | No CommentsObama hopes his approach for a nubile and extremely alluring protective social system will pay off. -
Thousands of birthers arrested
Posted on May 9, 2011 | 3 CommentsOrly Taitz charged with links to terrorism, Donald Trump flees the country. -
Texas traded to Mexico in four-state deal
Posted on May 7, 2011 | 2 CommentsMexican President Calderon went deep into his roster to acquire the Lone Star State -
Obama’s use of ‘air quotes’ throughout bin Laden announcement fuels conspiracy theories
Posted on May 6, 2011 | 1 CommentObama: "Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted "terrorist," was "killed" in "Pakistan" by the "U.S. military." -
Trump accuses Obama of not eating hot dogs
Posted on April 28, 2011 | 1 CommentReal estate mogul moves from birth certificates to food choices. -
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Posted on April 21, 2011 | 3 CommentsSpace agency accused of showing its true colors, in pink. -
Tea party placated on budget with snacks and naps
Posted on April 10, 2011 | No CommentsYoung lawmakers get awfully cranky when they're tired and hungry. -
Shutdown averted: The Man continues to keep you down
Posted on April 9, 2011 | No CommentsThe plutocrats battle the autocrats over how to keep the little guy down. -
Gingrich blames prostitution arrest on patriotism, Libya
Posted on April 1, 2011 | No CommentsThe former speaker is passionate about a lot of things, especially female staffers. -
Elated Emanuel juggling which power to abuse first
Posted on March 3, 2011 | No CommentsRahm's already likes the sound of the Cubs playing at Emanuel Field -
Banking unions vow no surrender in Wisconsin
Posted on February 25, 2011 | 1 CommentTables turn in Wisconsin? Business leaders fight governor on tax breaks and corporate welfare. -
Survey: Most men believe pollster was definitely flirting with them
Posted on February 16, 2011 | 1 CommentMen across the country are falling for women who care about what they have to say. -
States seek ban on Sharia, snipe hunts and unobtanium
Posted on February 14, 2011 | 1 CommentFictional threats seen as too dangerous to overlook. -
Reagan’s statue comes to life, then disappears
Posted on February 6, 2011 | 3 CommentsFormer president returns to mark his 100th birthday. -
Glenn Beck demands war with Britain
Posted on February 5, 2011 | 11 CommentsThe 1960s "British invasion" was just the first step towards an Islamic caliphate. -
Merger to make Fox the new home of Hitler
Posted on January 31, 2011 | 1 CommentFox and History Channel to focus on conspiracies, fringe elements and all things Hitler. -
Sarah Palin recovering from ego-ectomy and victimitis
Posted on January 24, 2011 | 2 CommentsFormer Alaska Governor's condition linked to the recent Arizona shootings. -
Tea party celebrates first year of corporate shilling
Posted on December 20, 2010 | 1 CommentActivists rewarded with “Stooges Ball.” -
Scooter Libby hired by WikiLeaks
Posted on December 3, 2010 | 3 CommentsWebsite hopes Republican operative will protect it from attacks. -
TSA screeners seek airports with the hottest passengers
Posted on November 29, 2010 | 3 CommentsSecurity personnel hope to get their hands on a few celebrities. -
Prop 19 fans surprised to have missed the election
Posted on November 4, 2010 | 4 CommentsLegalization supporters must have totally spaced out on voting day. -
Boys Town election hinges on ever-swinging bisexual vote
Posted on November 4, 2010 | No CommentsSexy Alexi may have gone down, but some races remain in the balance -
Will of God thwarted by the State of Delaware
Posted on November 4, 2010 | No CommentsThy will was not done in the Blue Hen State. -
Obama vows to keep accomplishments to himself
Posted on November 3, 2010 | No CommentsPresident to bend time and space, invent cold fusion and walk on water--but not tell anyone about it. -
Republicans call for ‘Don’t Ask DO Tell’
Posted on October 27, 2010 | No CommentsGOP wants to hear “all their sordid tales.” -
Editorial: Sun-Times endorses Giannoulias, Tribune endorses Kirk, Dope thinks they both suck
Posted on October 27, 2010 | No CommentsYou say tomato, we say piece of shit -
Democrats to voters: ‘Our nostalgia is better than theirs’
Posted on October 12, 2010 | 1 CommentWhen all else fails, detach from reality! -
Fox News: terrorist Snidely Whiplash on the loose
Posted on October 8, 2010 | 2 CommentsFiend enjoys tying women to railroad tracks. -
GOP stimulus love fest exposed
Posted on October 4, 2010 | 1 CommentRepublicans caught crushing on the recovery act. -
Daley makes Rahm his son, clearing path to City Hall
Posted on October 2, 2010 | 2 CommentsRahm tackles a major procedural hurdle in his quest to become the Windy City's next mayor -
So long corn syrup, hello corporate welfare juice
Posted on September 28, 2010 | No CommentsCompanies hope name change will distract people from health concerns over HFCS. -
Obama tells America he wants to start seeing other countries
Posted on September 21, 2010 | 1 CommentThe country's once-hot romance with President Obama has collapsed. -
Jesus stoned to death at ‘Values Voters’ summit
Posted on September 20, 2010 | 2 CommentsSon of God rejected by 'holier than thou' crowd. -
Daley successor likely to have unpronounceable Eastern European last name
Posted on September 14, 2010 | No CommentsOn the heels of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley’s unexpected announcement that he will not seek reelection in 2011, speculation among political experts is rampant regarding potential successors to Daley’s long held keys to City Hall. Rumored candidates are thought to include White House Chief of Staff and former Chicago... -
Is George W. Bush a secret Muslim?
Posted on September 6, 2010 | 4 CommentsFormer president has many ties to the Islamic world. -
Rolling national debt onto credit card earns 13 trillion rewards points
Posted on September 2, 2010 | No CommentsThe Obama administration tries to find a silver lining to the country's economic woes. -
French government: Bruni may be slutty, but she’s no hooker
Posted on September 1, 2010 | 2 CommentsThere's probably not one shred of eveidence that Carla Bruni was ever a prostitute. -
Beck holds book rally at Lincoln Memorial
Posted on August 30, 2010 | No CommentsThousands gather to hear Beck sell fear. -
Democrats pledge to be less well-read, more American by next election cycle
Posted on August 24, 2010 | 1 CommentWith poll numbers sagging and economic news worsening in the summer months, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is increasingly desperate in its attempt to retain control of Congress and the nation’s Governors’ mansions in this years midterm elections. In fact, an email leaked this week... -
Proposed ‘Ground Zero’ YMCA condemned ASAP
Posted on August 23, 2010 | 4 CommentsCritics worry about links to Christian extremists. -
Republicans introduce “Kill the Economy” plan
Posted on August 16, 2010 | 9 CommentsDriving nation into a ditch expected to boost GOP’s prospects in November. -
Obama ditches Boy Scouts to hang out with ‘popular crowd’
Posted on August 11, 2010 | No CommentsPresident Barack Obama caught significant flack from conservative pundits last week when he elected to ditch his role as honorary President of the Boy Scouts of America at their recent Jamboree in order to conduct a taping of the ladies daytime television program The View. Or so that’s what he... -
Target/Best Buy announce anti-gay product lines
Posted on August 9, 2010 | No CommentsCompanies claim new items eliminate gayness. -
Dick Cheney dies trying to re-start BP oil leak
Posted on August 1, 2010 | No CommentsFormer VP was trying to distract people from his many failures -
Council meeting deteriorates into drunken brawl over airport liquor licenses
Posted on July 30, 2010 | No CommentsA council meeting to discuss the new 24-7 liquor carts at Chicago airports turns sour. -
Native Americans call for white evictions in Arizona
Posted on July 26, 2010 | 1 CommentTribal council says “it’s payback time.” -
Penthouse forum letters getting way too political
Posted on July 24, 2010 | 1 CommentIn recent months, readers' letter submissions to Penthouse magazine have become dominated by political rants. -
Palin erroneously calls uranium ‘heaviest element’
Posted on July 21, 2010 | No CommentsThe ex-governor of Alaska once again betrays her shocking ignorance of the facts. -
Wall Street ready for bloodshed as banking war continues
Posted on July 19, 2010 | No CommentsObama rallies the troops as Republicans plan a counter-attack -
Area cows protest lactose intolerance
Posted on July 18, 2010 | No CommentsLocal cows stage a non-violent “milk-in" to call attention to a rising trend of lactose intolerance. -
Daley scolds gun owners: ‘You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!’
Posted on July 6, 2010 | No CommentsThe Mayor offers his response to citizens interested in purchasing a handgun.
