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Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
20 February 2012 8:20 PM | 1 Comment -
Chinese officials deny independence of Taiwanese Linsanity
14 February 2012 3:51 PM | No Comments -
WikiLeaks releases Bin Laden’s journal
12 February 2012 12:50 PM | No Comments -
Mitt Romney vows to start having affairs
25 January 2012 11:15 PM | No Comments -
Scientists confirm Earth’s climatologists getting hotter
24 January 2012 6:04 PM | No Comments -
Judge rules Devil must return M. Night Shyamalan’s soul
11 January 2012 1:20 PM | No Comments -
Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
10 January 2012 8:43 PM | No Comments -
Banks announce fee for thinking about money
24 December 2011 8:53 AM | No Comments
Lucky Charms cereal enters gay marriage debate
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Staff
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Rep. Joe Walsh seeks tax breaks for deadbeat dads
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Thousands of birthers arrested
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BREAKING HEADLINES
A Chicago Dope Exclusive!
National Archive
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Mitt Romney vows to start having affairs
Posted on January 25, 2012 | No CommentsCandidate hopes "pulling a Gingrich" will save his campaign. -
Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
Posted on January 10, 2012 | No CommentsWhen the rapture comes, you're going to need a something comfortable to sleep on. -
Republicans open second front in war on Christmas
Posted on December 12, 2011 | No CommentsFox attacks Republican National Committee for throwing a "holiday party." -
Campaign shocker: Michele Bachmann releases verifiably true statement
Posted on December 2, 2011 | No CommentsBachmann's camp is struggling with the firestorm that resulted from her uncharacteristically accurate observation. -
Congress adds SEC to list of recognized vegetables
Posted on November 30, 2011 | No CommentsFanning the flames of controversy, on Wednesday, Congress moved to add the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to the Federal Government’s list of recognized vegetables. The move comes on the heels of last week’s announcement that Congress now officially considers pizza a vegetable when served in school cafeterias across the country. -
Ben & Jerry’s launches Republican primary ice cream
Posted on November 22, 2011 | 2 CommentsCompany names eight new flavors, based on the GOP's presidential candidates. -
Women reject Mitt Romney’s harassment claims
Posted on November 8, 2011 | No CommentsCandidate thinks a good scandal would help him attract voters. -
Wall Street firms top list of popular baby names
Posted on October 24, 2011 | No CommentsNew parents are naming their kids after Wall Street companies and their CEOs. -
Publicity Wars: Baseball courts third Kardashian sister, enters Republican Primary field
Posted on October 5, 2011 | No CommentsIn its ongoing publicity war against football, baseball has announced its intention to date Kourtney Kardashian and seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States -
Ohio changes name to Iraq to get federal help
Posted on September 15, 2011 | 3 CommentsVirginia to follow suit with name change to Afghanistan. -
Ghost Hunters busted by group of meddling kids
Posted on September 1, 2011 | 1 CommentTV show's producers charged with bank robbery, burglary, forgery and counterfeiting. -
Gaddafi overthrown, Romney calls for his overthrow
Posted on August 25, 2011 | No CommentsRomney says removing Gaddafi is first step to removing him. -
NASA to pay cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ to stop being human
Posted on August 22, 2011 | No CommentsScientists are desperate to put a distance between East coast guidos and the rest of us. -
Big Ten changes division names from ‘Legends & Leaders’ to ‘Rizzoli & Isles’
Posted on August 4, 2011 | No CommentsThe Big Ten is changing the names of its two divisions from Legends & Leaders to Rizzoli & Isles. -
Rep. Joe Walsh seeks tax breaks for deadbeat dads
Posted on July 29, 2011 | 6 CommentsCongressman says $175,000 salary isn't enough to pay child support. -
Obama offers to sell prized skateboard to cut the debt
Posted on July 22, 2011 | No CommentsNegotiations stall over which side will hock their most valuable possessions. -
Rupert Murdoch to turn News Corp into a bank
Posted on July 20, 2011 | No CommentsMedia mogul to become banking mogul to avoid criticism and legal problems. -
Clarence Thomas vows to keep profiting from the bench
Posted on June 29, 2011 | 1 CommentSupreme Court justice says his decisions are for sale. -
Palin emails reveal former governor’s chronic abuse of ‘reply all’ button
Posted on June 16, 2011 | No CommentsAlaska Governor inundated staffers with thousands of emails offering opinions on furries, TV shows and to solicit relationship advice -
Tim Pawlenty to re-announce Presidential campaign via photo of his penis
Posted on June 13, 2011 | No CommentsTim Pawlenty tries to invigorate his campaign in a way that titillates potential voters -
Republicans call on Weiner to start having real affairs
Posted on June 10, 2011 | 1 CommentGOP says cheating is fine, as long as there's physical contact. -
Sesame Street cancels Tea Party episodes
Posted on June 7, 2011 | No CommentsPBS nixes plans to have Oscar the grouch turn political. -
Nowitzki fights anxiety with fate of humanity resting on his shoulders
Posted on June 4, 2011 | No CommentsDirk Nowitzki is anxious as he tries to save humanity from the potential apocalypse of a Miami Heat NBA Championship -
Obama appoints new crossword czar/tsar czar
Posted on May 27, 2011 | No CommentsObama appoints Yale professor to tackle the growing list of versions of the Russian word for “Caesar”. -
Nation mourns: Interplanet Janet disintegrates upon reentry
Posted on May 14, 2011 | No CommentsAdvanced space probe, war veteran and graduate of Schoolhouse Rock College exploded over the Gulf of Mexico Friday morning. -
Obama unveils plans for new nanny state that is smoking hot
Posted on May 11, 2011 | No CommentsObama hopes his approach for a nubile and extremely alluring protective social system will pay off. -
Thousands of birthers arrested
Posted on May 9, 2011 | 3 CommentsOrly Taitz charged with links to terrorism, Donald Trump flees the country. -
Texas traded to Mexico in four-state deal
Posted on May 7, 2011 | 2 CommentsMexican President Calderon went deep into his roster to acquire the Lone Star State -
Obama’s use of ‘air quotes’ throughout bin Laden announcement fuels conspiracy theories
Posted on May 6, 2011 | 1 CommentObama: "Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted "terrorist," was "killed" in "Pakistan" by the "U.S. military." -
Music critic pretty sure that half of bands appearing at Lollapalooza don’t actually exist
Posted on May 6, 2011 | No CommentsAttendees won't be able to listen to Wolf Lick or Fuzzy Dildo after all. -
Katie Couric announces she’s departing CBS in world’s worst-kept, least-cared about secret
Posted on April 30, 2011 | 1 CommentThough most people already knew and few really cared, CBS announces that Couric is leaving the Evening News. -
Trump accuses Obama of not eating hot dogs
Posted on April 28, 2011 | 1 CommentReal estate mogul moves from birth certificates to food choices. -
NASA accused of promoting gay climate change agenda
Posted on April 21, 2011 | 3 CommentsSpace agency accused of showing its true colors, in pink. -
Tea party placated on budget with snacks and naps
Posted on April 10, 2011 | No CommentsYoung lawmakers get awfully cranky when they're tired and hungry. -
Shutdown averted: The Man continues to keep you down
Posted on April 9, 2011 | No CommentsThe plutocrats battle the autocrats over how to keep the little guy down. -
Woman dumps fiancé over interest in royal wedding
Posted on April 7, 2011 | 1 CommentMan obsessed with Kate and William. -
Escaped killer whale recaptured after rampage through Orlando
Posted on April 1, 2011 | No CommentsThe SeaWorld Orlando star can't seem to stay out of trouble. -
Gingrich blames prostitution arrest on patriotism, Libya
Posted on April 1, 2011 | No CommentsThe former speaker is passionate about a lot of things, especially female staffers. -
House Republicans repeal law of gravity
Posted on March 21, 2011 | 1 CommentGOP continues its war on science and the environment. -
Quaker Oats announces Cap‘n Trade cereal
Posted on March 8, 2011 | No CommentsClimate change sails into the cereal aisle. -
Banking unions vow no surrender in Wisconsin
Posted on February 25, 2011 | 1 CommentTables turn in Wisconsin? Business leaders fight governor on tax breaks and corporate welfare. -
Tea party group refuses to leave Libya
Posted on February 23, 2011 | 4 CommentsTourists call federal rescue a dangerous precedent. -
Fox News to delay Obama-Mubarak comparisons until next week
Posted on February 17, 2011 | 1 CommentFor now, the cable news powerhouse will stick to allusions to Nazi Germany -
States seek ban on Sharia, snipe hunts and unobtanium
Posted on February 14, 2011 | 1 CommentFictional threats seen as too dangerous to overlook. -
Reagan’s statue comes to life, then disappears
Posted on February 6, 2011 | 3 CommentsFormer president returns to mark his 100th birthday. -
Glenn Beck demands war with Britain
Posted on February 5, 2011 | 11 CommentsThe 1960s "British invasion" was just the first step towards an Islamic caliphate. -
Lunatics, racists confounded by loss of color-coded terror alerts
Posted on February 1, 2011 | No CommentsFor many Americans, being racist or bat-shit crazy is getting a little harder -
Merger to make Fox the new home of Hitler
Posted on January 31, 2011 | 1 CommentFox and History Channel to focus on conspiracies, fringe elements and all things Hitler. -
Sarah Palin recovering from ego-ectomy and victimitis
Posted on January 24, 2011 | 2 CommentsFormer Alaska Governor's condition linked to the recent Arizona shootings. -
Tea party celebrates first year of corporate shilling
Posted on December 20, 2010 | 1 CommentActivists rewarded with “Stooges Ball.” -
The USA Today to stop pretending to be real newspaper
Posted on December 20, 2010 | 2 CommentsThe USA Today crossword paper ends 28-Year experiment with news reporting. -
Fighting big coal, environmental advocates urge kids to behave this Christmas season
Posted on December 8, 2010 | 2 CommentsEnvironmentalists are taking on bad children this Christmas -
Scooter Libby hired by WikiLeaks
Posted on December 3, 2010 | 3 CommentsWebsite hopes Republican operative will protect it from attacks. -
Crime show reenactor mistakenly arrested for 45th time this year
Posted on December 1, 2010 | 1 CommentThe airing of a Cold Case Files episode led to dozens of tips from keen-eyed citizens. -
TSA screeners seek airports with the hottest passengers
Posted on November 29, 2010 | 3 CommentsSecurity personnel hope to get their hands on a few celebrities. -
Ghost Of Christmas Present laid off due to budget cuts
Posted on November 23, 2010 | 3 CommentsThe Christmas Spirit has been hit by hard times and hopes to rebound through restructuring. -
Sears CEO arrested in kill Santa plot
Posted on November 22, 2010 | No CommentsSanta targeted for opposing commercialization of Christmas. -
Prop 19 fans surprised to have missed the election
Posted on November 4, 2010 | 4 CommentsLegalization supporters must have totally spaced out on voting day. -
Obama vows to keep accomplishments to himself
Posted on November 3, 2010 | No CommentsPresident to bend time and space, invent cold fusion and walk on water--but not tell anyone about it. -
Lou Piniella triumphantly hoists PS3 controller after long-awaited ‘MLB10: The Show’ World Series win
Posted on November 2, 2010 | No CommentsLou Piniella caps off an epic championship season in 'MLB10: The Show' for Playstation 3. -
Republicans call for ‘Don’t Ask DO Tell’
Posted on October 27, 2010 | No CommentsGOP wants to hear “all their sordid tales.” -
Randy Quaid to star in “I’m Still Here II: Psychotic Boogaloo”
Posted on October 26, 2010 | No CommentsThe actor's bizarre behavior is applauded as a renaissance of cinéma vérité. -
With BP oil spill, God takes 2-1 series lead over New Orleans
Posted on October 17, 2010 | No CommentsThe Almighty crushed The Big Easy in their last matchup and left the city struggling to find its way. -
Democrats to voters: ‘Our nostalgia is better than theirs’
Posted on October 12, 2010 | 1 CommentWhen all else fails, detach from reality! -
Fox News: terrorist Snidely Whiplash on the loose
Posted on October 8, 2010 | 2 CommentsFiend enjoys tying women to railroad tracks. -
GOP stimulus love fest exposed
Posted on October 4, 2010 | 1 CommentRepublicans caught crushing on the recovery act. -
Child abuse study reveals fewer parents giving their kid something to cry about
Posted on September 30, 2010 | No CommentsResearch shows that knocking kids into next week is down 15% -
So long corn syrup, hello corporate welfare juice
Posted on September 28, 2010 | No CommentsCompanies hope name change will distract people from health concerns over HFCS. -
Obama tells America he wants to start seeing other countries
Posted on September 21, 2010 | 1 CommentThe country's once-hot romance with President Obama has collapsed. -
Jesus stoned to death at ‘Values Voters’ summit
Posted on September 20, 2010 | 2 CommentsSon of God rejected by 'holier than thou' crowd. -
Reggie Bush banned from striking Heisman pose
Posted on September 15, 2010 | No CommentsThe Heisman Trophy Trustees give Heisman Trophy winner the Heisman by taking away his Heisman. -
Bin Laden thanks Christian extremists for their support
Posted on September 13, 2010 | 3 CommentsMastermind credits opponents for playing into his hands. -
Is George W. Bush a secret Muslim?
Posted on September 6, 2010 | 4 CommentsFormer president has many ties to the Islamic world. -
Rolling national debt onto credit card earns 13 trillion rewards points
Posted on September 2, 2010 | No CommentsThe Obama administration tries to find a silver lining to the country's economic woes. -
Beck holds book rally at Lincoln Memorial
Posted on August 30, 2010 | No CommentsThousands gather to hear Beck sell fear. -
Democrats pledge to be less well-read, more American by next election cycle
Posted on August 24, 2010 | 1 CommentWith poll numbers sagging and economic news worsening in the summer months, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is increasingly desperate in its attempt to retain control of Congress and the nation’s Governors’ mansions in this years midterm elections. In fact, an email leaked this week... -
Proposed ‘Ground Zero’ YMCA condemned ASAP
Posted on August 23, 2010 | 4 CommentsCritics worry about links to Christian extremists. -
Study: Texting while driving causes dogs to crash 100% of the time
Posted on August 20, 2010 | 2 CommentsResearchers conclude that dogs, automobiles and texting are a dangerous mix. -
Republicans introduce “Kill the Economy” plan
Posted on August 16, 2010 | 9 CommentsDriving nation into a ditch expected to boost GOP’s prospects in November. -
Study finds tattoos, shaved heads, goatees no longer intimidating
Posted on August 12, 2010 | No CommentsNo longer considered fearsome, these fashion fads are adorned by anyone looking to be individuals like everyone else. -
Obama ditches Boy Scouts to hang out with ‘popular crowd’
Posted on August 11, 2010 | No CommentsPresident Barack Obama caught significant flack from conservative pundits last week when he elected to ditch his role as honorary President of the Boy Scouts of America at their recent Jamboree in order to conduct a taping of the ladies daytime television program The View. Or so that’s what he... -
Sports scientists win Nobel Prize for “Favre Uncertainty Principle”
Posted on August 10, 2010 | 1 CommentResearchers in Wisconsin prove that not even Brett Favre himself knows whether he'll play again. -
Target/Best Buy announce anti-gay product lines
Posted on August 9, 2010 | No CommentsCompanies claim new items eliminate gayness. -
‘Afghan War Diary’ reveals Pentagon behind rise of Justin Bieber
Posted on August 2, 2010 | No CommentsJustin Bieber: Not a teen sensation, but ploy in a military cover up -
Dick Cheney dies trying to re-start BP oil leak
Posted on August 1, 2010 | No CommentsFormer VP was trying to distract people from his many failures -
Native Americans call for white evictions in Arizona
Posted on July 26, 2010 | 1 CommentTribal council says “it’s payback time.” -
Penthouse forum letters getting way too political
Posted on July 24, 2010 | 1 CommentIn recent months, readers' letter submissions to Penthouse magazine have become dominated by political rants. -
Palin erroneously calls uranium ‘heaviest element’
Posted on July 21, 2010 | No CommentsThe ex-governor of Alaska once again betrays her shocking ignorance of the facts. -
Wall Street ready for bloodshed as banking war continues
Posted on July 19, 2010 | No CommentsObama rallies the troops as Republicans plan a counter-attack -
Apple CEO beheaded by disillusioned users
Posted on July 17, 2010 | No CommentsApple's legendary CEO meets an untimely demise following an admission of fallibility. -
Steinbrenner’s will leaves Yankees starting roster to Humane Society
Posted on July 17, 2010 | No CommentsYankees’ principle owner George Steinbrenner leaves half of the New York Yankees to the charity. -
Nation’s pet stores donate small animals for gulf cleanup
Posted on July 15, 2010 | 2 CommentsMillions of small household pets are arriving in the gulf to aid recovery efforts -
Jesus removed from Texas Bibles
Posted on July 12, 2010 | 24 CommentsSon of God deemed too liberal for the classroom. -
BP vows to halt spread of information
Posted on July 6, 2010 | 2 CommentsBP struggles to contain massive information spill in the Gulf of Mexico. -
Stephen King shopping list inspires latest SyFy mini-series
Posted on May 25, 2010 | 1 CommentThe SyFy channel will be broadcasting a new mini-series based on a shopping list written by the master of horror.
