Three unidentified women joined the ranks of those who insist they’ve never been sexually harassed by former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney on Tuesday, despite claims by the candidate that he might have acted inappropriately towards them in the past.
“People might think of me as a stick in the mud, but I can be quite a jokester sometimes. No seriously, I really mean that,” Romney said in reaction. “It’s possible I might’ve said something that was misconstrued as sexual harassment in the past, we just haven’t found anyone to make that claim yet.”
The move is an unusual one for Romney. While a clean-cut image is typically seen as an asset, especially for someone trying to attract Republican primary voters, Romney has been trying to tarnish his image ever since rival Herman Cain became wracked by allegations of sexual harassment. So far, the allegations against Cain have had a contrarian effect by making it easier for the former pizza executive to raise funds.
Since then, the Romney campaign has tried unsuccessfully to find former colleagues or staffers to whom the former governor might have said something remotely offensive or off-color. The three women on Tuesday were only identified as having worked for Romney when he was governor and later on his campaign staff.
Their lawyer, Roger Walston, read a statement to the media that indicated the three women had nothing but respect for their former boss—thereby dashing the campaign’s hopes of using them as a fundraising tool.
“Even though two of us are working for Herman Cain, and one of us is working for Gov. Rick Perry we can state for the record that Gov. Romney never once said anything inappropriate or offensive to us in the years we worked for him,” the statement read. “Mitt Romney may have flip-flopped on every major issue, but he’s also as dry and boring as he appears on TV.”
Romney said his campaign is interviewing scores of current and former staffers and volunteers. He also called on the media to do the same.
“I’m pretty sure I once told a woman I liked her new hairstyle, that it made her look 10 years younger. Maybe that could be considered sexual harassment?” Romney said. “The only time I ever won an election, I know for a fact that I gave several one-arm hugs and perhaps a few pats on the back to my supporters. Isn’t there anyone out there who misconstrued my intentions? Anyone at all?”
Romney’s campaign manager, Matt Rhoades, told reporters that even though the former governor was certain he’s never actually harassed someone, the campaign was hopeful that the mere hint of a scandal would make the candidate more appealing to the voters.
“People say Herman Cain’s best asset is his personality, well believe it or not Mitt Romney has a personality too. Stop laughing you guys, I’m serious,” Rhoades said. “The other day I told him a joke and he almost smiled. It was a clean joke, but nevertheless this guy can be a real cut up sometimes.”
Romney said he would not rest until he found someone who could attack his character, on issues other than his complete reversals on abortion, gay rights and healthcare reform. He estimated that a good scandal might boost his support from a stagnant 23 percent of Republicans to as much as 24 or even 25 percent.
“I need someone to come at me with something personal, something that would attack me at my core if I had one,” Romney said. “If no one is willing to throw that kind of mud I may have to create my own scandal. Maybe I’ll have to stiff a waiter or something. Come to think of it, something like that would probably go over pretty well with the Republican base. Anyone know a good restaurant around here?”
Marcus Manfred is an enigma. A simple and complex man who was raised by wolves in the lower upper part of the eastern west. He is more than you think and less than you know. He is the solution to every question you have ever asked, as long as the answer is three. 
