Obama and Boehner argue over how best to keep you in your place
Late Friday night the entrenched ruling establishment reached a budget deal, averting a shutdown and keeping the working stiff in his place for at least another week.
Democratic and Republican lawmakers agreed to pass a short-term measure that will keep Big Brother all up in your business until a longer-term package is finalized. Congress has agreed to slash about $38 billion of the remaining spending that will fuel the oppressive establishment until September 30.
President Barack Obama said the cuts would be difficult and strain The Man’s ability to keep you in your place but necessary for the ongoing operations of sticking it to the little guy.
“Some of the cuts we agreed to will be painful,” Obama said. “but the programs that keep people under the thumb of government autocrats will need to be scaled back.”
Announcing the deal, House Speaker John Boehner said it had been a “long but necessary fight.”
“We fought to reduce the government’s ability to control your lives so as to create a better situation for our corporate taskmasters,” Boehner said. “It was our duty to the American plutocrats to make conditions attractive for them to create mind numbing jobs that have few advancement opportunities.”
Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk told The Chicago Dope that the budget showdown highlighted the contrast between the two parties.
“There are stark philosophical differences between the way we see the world,” Kirk said. ” Democrats want a nanny state to keep the American people lazy and docile and control every part of their lives. Republicans, on the other hand, are fighting hard to ensure cheap labor for the ruling bourgeois, keeping the American people docile and controlling every part of their lives.”
Without an agreement by midnight on Friday, a government shutdown would have been disastrous, barring some 800,000 government personnel from working to maintain the current social stratification and class barriers.
But some area residents aren’t convinced that lawmakers are protecting the nation’s best interest.
“It’s all politics,” Chicago resident Phil Robins said. “All we want to know is at the end of the day, when we fight truth to power and stick it to the Man, we just want to know which Man that is.”
The last time the government shutdown was in 1995, under President Clinton. A partial shutdown lasted 21 days while Republican lawmakers sparred with the President over how Medicare, environmental regulations and public health would keep the average work-a-day Joe under the heel of the establishment.
JB Goodbody frequently has thoughts in his head that makes him smile. Were they made public at the moment they poofed into existence, without some form of structured outlet such as satire, these thoughts would cause significant distress among his friends, family and coworkers. This is why he is here. 
