New security procedures at the nation’s airports have caused more than long lines and frustrated passengers—they’ve also resulted in record numbers of transfer requests among Transportation Security Administration screeners seeking plum assignments in airports where the really attractive tend to fly.
John Pistole, TSA administrator, said airports near places such as Hollywood and Malibu, Calif. have become overstaffed from actual transfers and from TSA personnel from other parts of the country simply abandoning their posts to seek employment on the West Coast.
The personnel shift has reached the point where less desirable areas in the Midwest and the Deep South are having trouble filling their positions. Pistole said the agency has a nine-year waiting list for screeners seeking transfer to the Los Angeles International Airport, yet many screeners from other states have simply shown up and volunteered to work for free.
“It’s not fair man, all those guys in California get to check out women like Salma Hayak or Jennifer Anniston, but all we get here in the Midwest is mostly fat chicks and old people. Who wants to get their hands on any of that? Not me,” said a TSA screener at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, who gave his name as Joe. “All the screeners got their own ‘scan and grope’ list of people we’d like to see behind the scanner or give an extra special pat-down to. If any of mine come through here I’m making a bee-line for the scanning booth.”
Plum assignments also include other parts of California, Florida and the New York area, except for New Jersey. Pistole said the TSA will be launching an ad campaign trying to fill vacancies across the rest of the U.S. The campaign will feature ads on the Food Network, the TV show “Mike & Molly” and the magazine “Chubby Chasers.”
“While airports in California and a few other locations, mostly on the coasts, are fully staffed with more than enough screeners to do the job the ugly center of the country is left shorthanded,” Pistole said. ”Simply put, we just don’t have enough people willing to look at pictures of naked ugly people and touch their junk. We must have some screeners who are into that kind of thing, but obviously not enough.”
Marcus Manfred is an enigma. A simple and complex man who was raised by wolves in the lower upper part of the eastern west. He is more than you think and less than you know. He is the solution to every question you have ever asked, as long as the answer is three. 
This article is a real hoot. As I commented at your link on my Facebook, “Crap! Who WOULDN’T like to get their hands on, say, someone such as Johnny Depp?”
I guess that terrorists don’t look sexy enough to warrant an extra glance or question to make sure that nothing hinky is going on…never mind that bodacious big breasted brunette setting of the metal detectors in just her panties…those red sticks she claims are lip-stick, “TNT” is the brand name,LOL!!! I wonder what the company president is going to say about this type of behavior. I mean this is disgusting and degrading when you actually realize that the guy who decides if you need to be searched is doing it because of your looks, he’s bored, or he’s actually trying to do his job…this last one is a rarity!!!