In a stunning finish Saturday afternoon, former Cubs manager Lou Piniella hoisted his Playstation 3 controller high above his head after defeating the Texas Rangers 7-5 in Game 7 of the World Series, capping off an epic season in the game MLB10: The Show.
The game ended in spectacular fashion in the bottom of the ninth when now-former Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee hit a walk-off 3-run home run off pitcher Colby Lewis. The blast onto Waveland Avenue sent the virtual fans at virtual Wrigley into a frenzy.
Piniella leaped off the couch, sending the glass of Jack and diet between his legs crashing to the floor. The mastermind behind the Cubs virtual World Series win, surrounded by photos of family and friends, danced and screamed, causing his dog Ricketts to run for cover.
With his front window drapes closed, Piniella moved his kitchen table to the living room and held a post game press conference.
“Yeah, you from the New York Times,” Piniella pointed. “What do I think was the deciding factor tonight?” Piniella provided a sheepish grin. “You know what… we hit the ball well, what can I say… Lee had a nice shot there at the end and… um… you know, yeah, we’re world series champs.”
The manager of the virtual Cubs looked around his living room for more questions. “Big Z’s performance? Well, you know what, he gave us seven good innings. Um… yeah… he put us in a good spot.”
Piniella deflected criticism regarding midseason trades he’d made a week ago while drunk. Before the deadline, the virtual Cubs sent Micah Hoffpauir, Tyler Colvin and Koyie Hill to other teams in return for Mark Teixeira, Paul Konerko and Albert Pujols.
“Listen,” Piniella said, “Paulie filled in well at short, Mark in right, and Albert at second. What more can you ask for? … I delivered you a gosh darn title! Jeepers!”
Irritated by the thought that his championship might be tainted, Piniella waved off the pretend press conference, overturned the table in his living room, and stumbled drunkenly to his bed.
Andy is a writer, comedian and human in the greater Chicagoland area. He enjoys writing, comedianing and humaning. His other endeavors includes jokes on 
