A run-in with his email inbox has sent a local man, Jerry, quickly spiraling into a severe depresssion over the last ten days.
The depressive bout was triggered last Tuesday after Jerry launched Gmail’s new “Priority Inbox” feature, which employs an advanced algorithm to analyze users’ correspondence by content and history, and then sorts “priority” emails from unimportant items. Though the feature helps most users save time by more effectively managing their unwieldy inboxes, for Jerry, the upgrade had more severe effects: When he learned that Google did not deem one item in his inbox remotely important, 
the 34 year old IT specialist began sliding into a feverish depression.
While Jerry has not emerged from his Oak Park apartment in more than a week, his on-again off-again girlfriend Myrtle has spoken to him in his hermitude. She revealed that the usually mild-mannered fan of chicken salad with walnuts is now drifting between fits of virulent outrage at what he considers Google’s debased insult, spasms of paranoid hysteria at America’s corporate “big brother”, and moroseness at the sad reality that his life probably is as trivial as Google suggests.
“Jerry comes in and out of lucidity right now,” Myrtle explained. “Sometimes he makes me turn off my cell phone and rants about how Google is after him for what he knows. Sometimes he tells me he should’ve pursued his dreams of becoming an NFL punter so his inbox would be more interesting. Mostly, though, he just cries.”
Alerted of Jerry’s condition, Google offered sympathy, though no apology.
“At Google, we value all of our users, so of course it’s sad to hear that our Priority Inbox upgrade has had an unintended impact on one person,” said Craig O’Brien, a Google spokesman. “But we reviewed his inbox again to be sure there were no errors in our algorithm’s initial computation. While we learned that Jerry is in a fantasy football league with a few guys from work, a thread that we would normally flag for priority status, our system believes that Jerry was probably a last minute invite to give the league an even number of teams. This finding is based on the fact that he’s never part of any of the group’s inside jokes, and we don’t think it’s important to the others whether Jerry reads their emails or not. In sum, we stand by our initial conclusion.”
Growing up outside of Cleveland, Ohio, Chandler formed a youthful and lasting love for sports, politics, comedy and melted cheese (full disclosure). The Chicago Dope is where his four loves often converge. He hopes you think this site is as dope as he does. 
I use google to find great restaurants all the time for great deals!