On Wednesday, press representatives for Nicolas Sarkozy rushed to defend the French President’s wife, Carla Bruni, making clear that while the First Lady is, “kinda slutty,” she is, in fact, not a prostitute.
The controversy surrounding Bruni and prostitution stems from an editorial published in an Iranian state newspaper on Monday, which states very clearly that the French First Lady “is a prostitute.”
Iran’s claim comes in response to Bruni’s recent decision to publicly call for the release of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, an Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning for cheating on her husband. Spokespersons for Sarkozy and Bruni contend that Iran’s allegation amounts to little more than childish mudslinging, and that it grossly mischaracterizes the First Lady’s sexual history.
“Is Ms. Bruni kinda slutty? Sure she is. We ackowledge that the woman has locked lips with more rock stars than Jack Daniels and littered Paris with enough one-night stands that we had to start recycling!” exclaimed Jacques Poher, a press representative for Sarkozy. “But has she ever exchanged sexual favors for money? There’s probably not one shred of evidence that she has! Though, to be fair, she doesn’t remember everything that went on in the 90s…”
While the incident has caused international uproar, in France, experts are hardly surprised to see Bruni interjected into the controversy surrounding Ashtiani’s defense. In fact, many see it as perfectly in character for the fashionista-former-model turned First Lady.
“This does not surprise me one bit,” said Gerard Claus, a professor of Modern French Studies at the Sorbonne. “Though she’s often dismissed among political types because she’s a former model, those who know Carla know that she’s actually a committed advocate for women around the globe. In particular, as someone who has publicly declared that she is ‘easily bored with monogomy’, for Carla, defending the rights of adulterers and sluts in the Muslim world isn’t just an intellectual exercise: It’s a point of personal passion.”
Under pressure from numerous foreign governments, Iran quickly retracted their statement.
“We are sorry that we called Ms. Bruni a prostitute,” Mahmoud Pahmirza told Al Jazeera television. “It’s just that when we were looking through old girly magazines during our lunch break and saw her tits, we jumped to a conclusion. Plus, it’s just the word we like to use to describe women we don’t like. It’s got zip!”
Growing up outside of Cleveland, Ohio, Chandler formed a youthful and lasting love for sports, politics, comedy and melted cheese (full disclosure). The Chicago Dope is where his four loves often converge. He hopes you think this site is as dope as he does. 
she is hot
Je suis Andrew!